Listening With 3 Ears
When you’re listening to someone, try listening for these 3 things:
- Listen to WHAT they said.
- Listen to what they MEANT to say.
- Listen to what they WANTED to say, but didn’t know how to say it.
These 3 components usually exist in some way in every interaction if we’ll just pay attention. Ask questions to clarify and rephrase what they’ve said so you can get to the heart of the matter. I promise this will add value to your daily interactions.
My name is Ricky Patrick. I write because I think. I post those thoughts online to make you think. So read often and comment freely. Thanks for visiting.
anessaback
8 Jan, 2010
I like this idea of hearing with three ears. Maybe we could also start speaking with three mouths…
1. SAY what we meant to say – simply and directly. The more we beat around the bush trying not to hurt someone's feelings or not to come across sounding too mean, negative, etc., then the more we confuse and our listener.
2. Verify that the listener heard what we MEANT to say. Verifying accuracy is probably the most important part of effective communication.
3. Make a practice of taking the time to say the things we WANTED to say. For many of us, the hardest thing to do is tell someone how much we appreciate and respect them. The most important communication (those words that bind us together and form lasting friendships, trust and mutual respect) seems to be the last thing we remember to communicate.
As always Ricky, great post!